...ch3ry| e an9e|...

experiences extreme emotional upheavals uncountable timez a dae...(seriously, anything is possible if u go from exhilarated 2 down-in-the-dumps in 2 sec.s flat...) may seem v quiet @ 1st...but will warm up soon...









x.her past
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
mabbe i DO suffer fr split personality...or mabbe its anger management problems...whicheva...but i've been noticin a pattern in my moods...n dey tend 2b v drastic...major drastic...
figures wad...every1 hav a certain tolerance lvl when bein provoked...i 4 1 choose 2 wear all my exp on my sleeve...think tt's warnin' enuff 2 tell ppl 2 baq off...as if my thunderous blaq face not enuff...still muz kao peh sum more...i argue until cry...damn shit lah...i cry too ezly...everytime a lil' bit ji dong den cry liaoz...hate dis...hate dis...HATE DIS!!!
mabbe its e lack o breatin space...i dunno...call it bullshit if u wan...after my major breakdown in fronta e vp n various tutors...i was more resolved 2 work hard...i paid attn in tuts...i tried my hardest 2 catch-up w my h/w...so, i'm still laggin bhind...but @ least i'm makin a conscious effort 2 DO SUMTHING ABT E FUCKIN Fs RITE?!?!
i'm not tryin 2 redeem myself here...i dun giv a shit bout wad others think...go ahead n judge...i'm stronger den u think...
fuck dem can...i considered v guai dis term liaoz lah...den every fuckin tme say i go out w frens...waste time on net...fuck lah...juz damn blardy friggin pissed...kiam pah issit...wu ping wu ju den cum n kao peh me...
finished my dinner @ top sped...bang bang bang...utensils @ e plate....my bottle in e basin...reach room...hurled eth w-in reach...kicked my bag....kicked sum more...chop chop bathe....bang my fists against e ceramic walls...damn blardy bu shaung loz...
actually all dis anger stemmed fr...let's juz put it @ 'sumwhere'...figures...e way anger works 4 me...its like everytime sth happens...i shut up bout it...bottle up my feelings till i buai tahan...den like major volcanic eruption....i dun giv a damn who u r...u can b god 4 all i care...rmb, i've denounced my faith followin all dis shit...i dun giv a hoot bout retribution...it cums it cums...
so even if my mom cums n kneel on e floor n beg me 2 curb my anger (which she apparently did, if not i wldn't b able 2 write dis...) i didn't budge on e anger front...stomp stomp stomp...bang bang bang...if u dun wanna die den...dun cum near me...unless I initiate it.
* e princess diaries *